Nice ass
by Xment2bursX
Summary: Argent goes to the Titan Tower in civies. Mistranslation is a dangerous thing. Crack. Slight slash. One shot.


**Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. D8**

**Summary:Argent goes to the Titan Tower in civies. Mistranslation is a dangerous thing. Crack. Slight slash. One shot.**

**Nice ass.**

The plan was simple. Pop in, hand over the report, dash out and make it to the city by lunch. Oh yes, it was Argent's day off and she'll be damned if she doesn't get some shopping in. Notice, there was no 'change from uniform' in that plan. Well, the heroine was hardly going to waste precious shopping-time on changing. No way. Instead, she had a better idea.

She'd just go to the tower in civies.

It wouldn't be a problem - or, rather, she assumed it wouldn't be a problem considering she had seen many Titans go in and out of the tower in non-uniform - since she was only dropping off one report. She'd be in and out in no time. So, armed with her never-before-worn - heroes don't get many days off, much to her chagrin - black skinny jeans and her favourite red sequin top, she swiped, coded and finger-printed her way into the tower. She understood why Robin had so many locks and what-have-yous on the door but she still dubbed him paranoid-king.

"Hey, Raven." The dark girl looked up, scowling slightly, at her. Raven gave her a nod and looked back down to the newspaper. Argent rolled her eyes. This was why she'd rather talk with Starfire; she could barely get a word out of Raven unless the blue-haired girl was forced into it. "I need Robin to sign these." She held up her report. One little signature and she was out of there!

Raven didnt answer right away. She left Argent standing there till she fnished her paragraph. Only then did she look up. "He's busy."

"Busy?" The other girl echoed, blinking.

"Yes, busy."

Argent sighed. "Doing what? Cant I get slip in and shove this on his desk?"

"Nope."

"..." Argent was very close to growling at- no, hitting (with a plasma beam) the girl. "Why?"

Raven turned the page idly. "He's on the phone." She gave Argent a knowing look. "With Batman. You want to go in there? Your funeral."

The Titan pouted. Raven was right. If she went in there, she risked loosing a limb. Even if she didn't, Robin would be too pissed off to sign the report anyway. "How long?" She sighed.

The cloaked girl looked up at the clock. "He's been talking for an hour. I would recon another half an hour or so."

"Right." Argent sighed. "I'll be in the kitchen or living room or something then."

Raven nodded, grabbing the newspaper so she could disappear with it. She paused, giving Argent a once over. "Nice pants." She said, before vanishing into a dark swirl.

Argent's hands flew to her waist line. She ran her fingers along it, checking herself carefully. Frowning, she eyed the place where Raven had disappeared. The now-blank space not giving her any answers, she turned and headed for the kitchen.

* * *

Argent swore. She was always getting lost in he damn tower. They should have a map on each wall. Deciding to mention this to Robin when she finally saw him, she turned a corner, almost running straight into Bumblebee, Mas and Menos.

"Oh! Hey Argent!"

"'Lo, Bee." She winked at the twins. "What's up?"

Bumblebee shot a look to the two young boys. "Nothing, just found these two pelting eggs at the bedroom doors." She sighed. "I'm trying to find a bucket so I can get them to wash it all off."

Holding down a snicker, Argent nodded slowly. "There's one a few doors down, if it helps." She had walked into what appeared to be a storage cupboard in her quest to find the kitchen.

Bee sent her a gratefull look. "Thanks. You lost again?"

Argent flushed. "Heh, yup! I need to get to the main room."

The other girl pointed down the way that Argent had just come from. "Backtrack and go right. Keep following the doors that open without you doing anything."

"Thanks, love!" She waved at the twins, who pouted and waved dejectedly back, and twisted round to retrace her footsteps around the corner.

"Oh Argent!" The girl looked over her shoulder to see Bumblebee grinning. "I'm loving the pants, girl."

Argent's mouth fell open.

* * *

"Hey, Argent." The pale girl looked up from where she was inspecting her shoes - and her waist again - to see a smiling BeastBoy. "Ain't it your day off?"

"Hey, green. Yeah, I'm handing in a report." She held the offending item up. "But Leader-boy is on the phone with 'Daddy'."

BeastBoy winced. "Ouch. Yeah, good luck with that."

She sighed. "Thanks." She said dryly.

"...hey," He smiled sheepishly at her. "Your not lost again, are you."

Argent pouted. Honestly, you get lost _one _time... "That depends. Am I going the right way to get to the main room?"

The green boy chuckled and pointed to the door right behind him. "Straight through there, dude."

The girl was close to crying tears of happiness. "Really?!" The boy nodded, grinning toothily. "Thanks!"

No problem - Hey!" She turned, giving him a curious look. "Nice pants! They really suit you."

Argent wimpered, backing into the door that led her to the main room.

* * *

"Speedy!"

The red-head looked up to see Argent, biting her lip and hopping worriedly, dashing over from the entrance. He put down the magazine he was reading and smiled as she came over to the the couch.

"Sup, Argent?"

Leaning down, she grabbed his hands in a tight hold. "You'll tell me the truth right?" She pleaded, eyes wide.

"Err..." Speedy's eyes darted to the side, trying to signal to Aqualad, who was in the kitchen behind them trying to sneakily rid the fridge of fish, for help. His only answer was a quiet chuckle. "Yes?"

She grinned. "Great" Straightening, she moved the tea-table to she was standing directly in front of him. Glancing around, she whispered, "Are my undies showing?" Before pulling her shirt up slightly and turning in a slow circle.

Once she was facing him again, she dropped her shirt and brought a hand up to bite at a nail. Speedy blinked several times before shaking his head.

"No, Argent, your underwear isn't showing."

Argent's face was hopefull. "Really?!" She cried.

"I swear. But..." He grinned cheekily, whistling lightly. "You got a real nice ass, Argent."

Just as the girl started to giggle, a rolled up tea towel smacked the boy in the back of the head. Both teens turned to see Aqualad glaring dangerously at Speedy. The boy let out a loud 'Eep!' before vaulting over the back of the couch and bounding over to his boyfriend.

"But yours is the _best _ass, baby!"

Argent watched for a second, as Speedy tried and failed to wrap his arms around the Atlantian and cuddle him, before a girl's voice called to her across the room.

"Hey, Argent!" Jinx called, Wally waving beside her. "Oh, I _love_ the pants!"

Argent's eye twitched.

**AN: **

**'Pants' in America, this means 'trousers' or 'jeans' or whatever.**

**Here in England, this means 'underwear'.**

**Umm... in case the joke is unclear - or my sense of humour is that bad XD - Argent was under the impression that her underwear was showing and people were complimenting it. Poor girl. I bet she asks for chips at the table and gets crisps, too. ...Or asks for crisps and gets a WTF look.**

**Reviews make a happy writer. **

**x**


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